Special Fruitcake Recipe


    • 1 Cup Water
    • 1 Cup Sugar
    • 4 Large Eggs
    • 2 Cups Dried Fruit
    • 1 Tsp Salt
    • 1 Cup Brown Sugar
    • 3-oz Lemon Juice
    • 1 Cup Nuts
    • 1 JUMBO Bottle Vodka


    • First, sample the vodka, to check for freshness
    • Take a large bowl
    • Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality
    • Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again.
    • Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
    • Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup.
    • Turn off mixers. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit or something. Mix on the turner.
    • If the fried druit gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
    • Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.
    • Next, sniff 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
    • Check the vodka.
    • Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one Table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever.
    • Grease the oven. Turn the cake ttin 350 degrees.
    • Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out the window.
    • Check the vidka again.
    • Go to bed.
    • Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

From Mindy's Special Collection