Special Fruitcake Recipe
- 1 Cup Water
- 1 Cup Sugar
- 4 Large Eggs
- 2 Cups Dried Fruit
- 1 Tsp Salt
- 1 Cup Brown Sugar
- 3-oz Lemon Juice
- 1 Cup Nuts
- 1 JUMBO Bottle Vodka
- First, sample the vodka, to check for freshness
- Take a large bowl
- Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality
- Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again.
- Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
- Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup.
- Turn off mixers. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit or something. Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.
- Next, sniff 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
- Check the vodka.
- Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one Table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever.
- Grease the oven. Turn the cake ttin 350 degrees.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out the window.
- Check the vidka again.
- Go to bed.
- Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
From Mindy's Special Collection