Special Fruitcake Recipe

Ingredients

• • 1 Cup Water

  • 1 Cup Sugar

  • 4 Large Eggs

  • 2 Cups Dried Fruit

  • 1 Tsp Salt

  • 1 Cup Brown Sugar

  • 3-oz Lemon Juice

  • 1 Cup Nuts

  • 1 JUMBO Bottle Vodka

Preparation

• • First, sample the vodka, to check for freshness

  • Take a large bowl

  • Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality

  • Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again.

  • Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.

  • Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup.

  • Turn off mixers. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit or something. Mix on the turner.

  • If the fried druit gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

  • Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.

  • Next, sniff 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

  • Check the vodka.

  • Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one Table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever.

  • Grease the oven. Turn the cake ttin 350 degrees.

  • Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out the window.

  • Check the vodka again.

  • Go to bed.

  • Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

From Mindy's Special Collection