Special Fruitcake Recipe
1 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 Tsp Salt
1 Cup Brown Sugar
3-oz Lemon Juice
1 Cup Nuts
1 JUMBO Bottle Vodka
First, sample the vodka, to check for freshness
Take a large bowl
Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality
Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup.
Turn off mixers. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit or something. Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.
Next, sniff 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the vodka.
Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one Table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake ttin 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out the window.
Check the vodka again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
From Mindy's Special Collection